Kooky Conservative Emails, Part One: “Progressive Insurance”

You know what I mean. Your phone, iPad or laptop beeps or vibrates. You’ve got an email. Maybe it’s a lead on a new job you desperately need or notification that an obscure class action lawsuit you’re part of has settled and you’ve got a check for $42.57 on the way. You check your device, hoping, praying…but no. You knew it all along. It’s never good news. Instead, you’ve got another kooky conservative email…from Uncle Harold. Or Great-Aunt Margaret. Or that brother-in-law you barely know who picks his teeth at restaurants.

Marion Lorne as "Aunt Clara"

We’ve all got one. An insane relative who lingers under the misguided impression that it’s cool to pass along every loony email she receives. You can spot the emails: the subject line and at least half the text are in all caps and two or more of her cats had a disturbing fascination with the exclamation point key (quite a feat for a cat since that key usually must be paired with the shift key). Another indicator that it’s a dreaded email from the crazy relative is the amount of scrolling down you must do past multiple forwarded email addresses to get to the actual substance of the damn thing. FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, LEARN HOW TO CUT AND PASTE ALREADY!!!

Ugh. I’ve succumbed to the temptation of caps lock and exclamation points. For the sake of brevity, we’ll refer to these kooky conservative relatives collectively as “Aunt Clara.” (for the record, I LOVED Aunt Clara – who didn’t -I just wanted an excuse to post her picture)

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