One sport black men are tired of dominating

James Bain was released from prison after 35 years when it was discovered that he had not in fact kidnapped and raped 9 year-old boy. 

“I’m not angry,” James Bain, 54, told reporters after a brief hearing in Bartow, Florida.

“Mr. Bain might not be angry but I’m mad as hell,” said Larry, who was queued up at a vendor near Madison Square Garden.  “America needs a new pasttime.” 

“I know what you mean,” said the vendor.  “Punishing black men for crimes they didn’t commit just doesn’t seem to draw mobs crowds like it used to.” 

Of the 245 people in the United States whom DNA testing has exonerated, none has spent more time behind bars than Bain, according to the Innocence Project, a national organization dedicated to exonerating wrongfully convicted people through such testing.

“If doin’ time for something you didn’t do was an Olympic sport,” said Larry as he squirted mustard on his pretzel,  “Bain would take home the gold, silver, bronze AND honorable mention!” 

Mr. Bain’s positive attitude also wasn’t clouded by the fact that Nancy Grace has yet to report on his tragic situation. 

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll get around to it,” said Larry as he entered 1 Penn Plaza to go to his job as a securities lawyer.  “Eventually Tiger Woods will run out of girlfriends and Ms. Grace will have to report on something else.” 

(AP Photo / Steve Nesius)

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